Why Life is Perfectly NoT Perfect…
This is hard to admit because it’s really nice when people think you are perfect.
The perfect Daughter, Friend, Wife and Mom.
But here’s the thing with perfection…
A few years back a “friend” said something to me that I remember until this day…
“You’re the pretty blonde girl at the party who every girl wants to be and every boy wants to dance with.”
“You don’t know what it is to work hard for something you want or let alone suffer.”
Cruel and unfair.
Needless to say I realised it was a toxic and one-sided friendship where I was the one always listening to her troubles (Because she had a lot and I apparently had none).
But you know why it stuck with me? Because it was so far from the truth. And for someone that I thought actually knew me, it was so damn hurtful.
Because you know what? WE ALL PRETEND. Yes, you and me.
And if you don’t agree you’re probably still in denial.
I don’t mean pretending like a split personality: I just mean your everyday-putting-on-a-brave-face-even-though your-insides-are-crying-or-your-heart-is-hurting.
You know the way a duck glides over a pond? It looks so peaceful, but underneath that duck is kicking like crazy, just to be able to float gracefully…
You get the picture? So when someone says to me “you have never worked hard, or suffered, you are so perfect, so you won’t understand…” it hurts.
Just because I’m gliding gracefully does NOT mean everything is PERFECT all the time.
We all have struggles, issues and problems. Some bigger, some smaller but there’s not one person out there without a worry! Maybe Kim Kardashian, but let’s give her the benefit of the doubt.
Now about 12 years since that unfortunate incident I think back to it a lot…
Motherhood shaped and changed me and it humbled me in so many ways.
But I still strive to be PERFECT.
I want to be the perfect Mom.
(And yes the perfect size 10)!
And the thing is, it’s good to want to be perfect. To work damn hard to get what you want, to want to make your parents proud (Because they deserve it)! To hit the gym to try and get to that size 10, To try and be the perfect wife because you’ve got the best hubby and trying EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT to be
The Perfect Mom, because your baby is perfect and deserve perfection.
But then you also need people in your life that gets you.
People who know that even though you’re putting on pink lipstick and a big smile,
you are kicking like crazy under the surface.
People that really know you and let you know that you, just you being you, are enough.
I’ll admit: I’m still trying to be PERFECT.
Not because of someone else, but because of my inner voice.
And sometimes I get it right (you know those insta-perfect moments), luckily there’s a lot of them and for that I’m so thankful BUT sometimes (a lot of times)! I don’t get it right!
And learning to be okay with NOT BEING PERFECT is something I must still work at…
It’s okay to have a bad day.
It’s okay to rest when you’re tired.
It’s okay to NOT be the best in everything you do.
It’s okay to LET GO of the past.
Its okay to eat two soft serves and then blame your tight jeans on the washing machine.
It’s okay to NOT love every part of your body (although you should)!
It’s okay if you feel like screaming (and actually do), when you change yet another poo-diaper.
It’s okay if you shove everything in the closet and pretend the house is clean.
It’s okay if you’re not the one tucking baby in every single night…
It’s okay to leave baby with granny to go on a much needed date night.
It’s okay to stare at photos of your pre-baby body with longing (and cursing yourself for not realizing how hot you were back then)! DAMN IT!!!
It’s okay to go to the gym just to buy the peanut butter smoothie afterwards (you did run, okay walked on the treadmill).
It’s okay to swear at the dog for ruining your pretty outfit.
It’s okay if you snap at hubby and say sorry a little bit later.
It’s okay if you’re really too tired to do sexy stuff (if your hubby is NOT Christian Grey he will understand).
It’s okay to take a break from motherhood and just be you!
It’s okay to love your baby SOOOOO much that your heart hurts.
It’s okay to cry when you’re sad or hurt, but it’s also okay to laugh out loud when you are happy.
And you should laugh, a lot, because life is NOT PERFECT, it’s actually kind of messy.
Sometimes it’s terrifying
It’s incredibly beautiful.
It’s okay to NOT be the perfect Mom, Wife, Daughter or Friend…
It’s Okay… to be Perfectly Imperfect.
Because to those who matter, you’re already PERFECT.
Stay Stylish (and NOT perfect)!