Motherhood is fun, funny and hard. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
15. Laugh at yourself (a lot)
The next time you realise that the weird smell that’s been following you around is a smear of poo across your cheek or you talk in a baby voice to thank the waitress for your takeaway cappuccino. Laugh. It. Off.
14. Tell The Occasional White Lie
I know it’s wrong, but you are a Mom not Pinocchio! Get over yourself and tell the damn lie (if it means that your kids will finally take a bath, brush their teeth or eat some broccoli).
13. Stop Competing
Leave the competitive sport to the Springboks! Find your tribe of Moms that support you no matter what. The ones helping you through all the ups and downs of parenting (along with a cold glass of sauvignon blanc).
12. Take A Time-Out
I’m talking about you – not the kids. Me time is important for your body and soul. Read your favourite magazine, watch The Bachelor or take a nap. Ask for help and just do it.
11. Stop Obsessing Over Your Mom-Bod
Also remember that spanx are like chocolate, it makes everything better.
10. You’ve Got Super Boobs
They might be sagging or drooping but if you are breastfeeding you are providing food for your baby. And nobody really cares about your chest right now except baby…
That said, go out and find a bra that fits the size you are now.
9. Keep Your Partner Happy
When you both feel happy and connected the world is a better place. So hire a babysitter, watch The Walking Dead when the kids are finally asleep and if all else fails find a way to make your man happy in 5 minutes or less.
Hey, a Mama needs her sleep and there are reality shows to be watched.
8. You Will Sleep Again (Someday)
The Sleep Foundation recommend that adults sleep 7-9 hours per night. After you stop laughing, realise that you can survive on 2 hours sleep each night for 12 months.
7. Do Not Listen To Every Opinion
Motherhood is a learning curve. Everybody will throw advice at you but that does not mean you have to listen to them all. Choose your advisors carefully (someone as wise as Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones).
6. You Love Your Mom More Than Ever
You finally understand what she went through. The Struggle Is Real. Tell her that every time you call her! And ask her advice about the kids, again.
5. Stop Feeling Guilty
Make a choice that is right for you and your family. Then make a conscious decision to drop the guilt.
4. Be Proud!
You made a human being. He could be the next president or Derek Watts. Charlize Theron or Ellen Degeneres. Make people laugh (like Howie Mandall) or saves people’s lives.
He is on earth because of you.
You are working harder than you’ve ever worked in your life. All day and all night long. Becoming a mother is life changing but know this:
3. You Won’t Ruin Your Child’s Life
2. Your Mommy-Instincts Are On Track
1. You Are A Good Mom.
Hit the SHARE button if you think this is something every Mom needs to hear!
Helene, Minki & Joshua