Breathe in. Breathe out.

I wish I could tell you I was busy meditating, getting in touch with my inner self but lets be honest – this breath in, breath out episode is just one of a hundred sighs I tend to give these days.

WARNING: I’ve noticed that I’m sighing a lot these days.

Because raising kids is busy and full of interruptions and well quite frankly damn hard work.

I’m sleep deprived… sigh!

Waking up every hour because of a grunting (and hungry) baby is exhausting. Just when I thought my 3-year-old is sleeping through the night we signed up for sleepless nights all over again.

Oh, how I long for 8 hours uninterrupted sleep!

Breastfeeding is hard… sigh!

We’ve all heard that #breastisbest but let me tell you this: Breastfeeding is hard work. Tears, sweat and blood goes into it. Literally.

Not to mention the horror of watching your once perky boobs go downhill.

My house is in a constant state of terror… sigh!

My once beautiful living room is now a playroom. Lego’s, Barbie and a million unidentifiable objects are literally everywhere. 

There are bits of food, an old Simba chippie and a half-eaten rusk under the couch.

Cleaning (with kids in the house) is useless because guess what in 5 minutes you will have to do it… again!

My hygiene level has reached an ultimate low… sigh!

I can’t remember the last time I’ve shaved my legs. Why? Because taking a bath with a 3 year old does not leave any room or time to shave your legs.

Making sure Ariel finds her voice (and her prince) are way more important than your hairy legs Mommy! Duh!

There’s no time to curl my hair let alone straighten it. Dry shampoo is my new best friend. Make up is a luxury and when I remember I brush my teeth.

This is considered a good day.

Keeping the spark alive is a challenge… sigh!

Leaking breasts, maternity pads and a messy bun do not exactly scream sex!

It’s undoable to stay awake after 21:00, spit up is not sexy and did I mention I’m tired?

My house is dirty. My hair is dirty.

The house is a mess. I’m a mess.

Then I hear a voice inside my head (that’s you Mom) and it says I must try and see things differently because…

There’s beauty in the chaos

I’m sleep deprived but

I get to take care of tiny humans. They will only need me for a small amount of time.

For now, I’m the only one that can comfort them and that’s kind of amazing.

Breastfeeding is hard but

so rewarding.The way he turns his head and nuzzle my neck when he wants some more. The way he gives this little giggle when he’s finally full. The way he falls asleep with a smile on his face. The way his tiny body feels against my skin.

The late night and early morning feedings when it’s dark outside and its just him and me against the world.

I’m giving my baby the best and I’m also doing some cardio!

My house is in a constant state of terror but

it’s a nice state of terror. If you are craving a snack, but you are stuck breastfeeding, you can literally just lift a cushion and you are guaranteed to find a snack! 

It’s a mess but it’s a beautiful mess.

They are playing. They are learning new skills and maybe someday they will learn another one: To tidy up.

My hygiene level has reached an ultimate low but

who cares? I know how important appearance is, but I’ve just had a baby. And a c-section.

The fact that I’m still standing and I’m taking care of two tinies are a huge accomplishment.

Keeping the spark alive is difficult but

seeing hubby take care of our babies is enough to melt my heart all over again.

We may not be jumping the couch anytime soon, but man when we work together as a team those kids they don’t stand a chance!

We bath, feed, play and dance with them and when we finally put (two happy kids) to bed it’s time for our reward…

Watching The Walking Dead of course! 😉

Raising kids are hard.

Add a newborn in the mix and it gets even harder.

But it builds strength, it builds character and it is making our marriage stronger.

One day…

One day my breasts will be my own again, my house will be squeaky clean and “Let it go” will not play in the background.

There will be no sticky arms around me neck, no face that lights up when I walk into the room.

It will be quiet. Oh, so quiet…

Motherhood is chaos but it’s a beautiful chaos

The messy house, the quick showers, the sticky hugs and the overall constant NEED for you.

It’s chaos. But it’s beautiful.

One day all of this will be 20 years ago, and you will long for those messy days.

It’s a beautiful, busy, messy life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sigh.

XOXO

Helene & Minki & Joshua

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