Everybody gets through the first few weeks with baby and so will I, won’t I?
After 9 months of extreme nausea that lead to prenatal depression (you can read more about it here) I counted down the days to my due date…
I was ready. I knew that my time will no longer be my own, that my body is going to change in every way possible, that I’m going to wear those hideous mesh panties and huge boat-like maternity pads for at least two weeks.
You could say I was prepared.
Nope. Wrong. I was completely unprepared when it hit me.
Long story short – postpartum kicked my (mesh-covered) butt.
Why was it so difficult this time round? I don’t know! Maybe it’s because I’m older. Maybe it’s because I forgot some of the (gory) details?
But here’s some of the things that hit me hard (again).
1. It’s humiliating
If you think getting a brazilian wax is humiliating – try baring your vagina to more than seven people in theatre. You get on the bed, your legs are numb and then you just lie there, legs wide open, baring it all.
My advice: Get a wax! Front, behind and centre! Your vagina is literally in the spotlight.
2. Crying (a lot)
Yes, it’s a joyous day! And there’s beautiful, happy, Insta-worthy moments, but never ever underestimate your hormones. They could go completely haywire. Mine did! Especially on Day 3…
I was a wreck. Enough said.
The teary veil will lift eventually… I promise you are not crazy, just hormonal.
3. Still looking pregnant
Arriving home after my c-section cradling our new baby brother, Minki ponders my stomach (still looking very much pregnant), and asks, “Mommy, who then is in your tummy now?”
It’s three weeks later and I’m still rocking my maternity jean. Not because I love it, but because it’s the only piece of clothing that fits.
Make peace with the fact that you will still look 6 months pregnant. The truth hurts (and so does your Forever New skinny jean).
4. Breastfeeding is (not) easy
I was breastfeeding Minki for 13 months and was confident that I will be able to do it again. He latched like a pro, but I’m not going to lie. Day 4- 7 was more painful (and more emotional) than my c-section.
Engorged boobs that will make Pamela Anderson jealous, sensitive nipples, milk spraying everywhere, the smell of cabbage leaves…
Breastfeeding is difficult, but if you can, stick it out – you will eventually find your rhythm. If not, please don’t beat yourself up! Remember #fedisbest!
5. Hubby (still) loves you
Your marriage is not ruined. It might be on pause for a while, and that’s okay. Let your partner help you!
“Just do the dirty work, man. You gotta do the diapers, you gotta do the middle of the night thing. I mean, your wife — a human being will exit your wife, so she’s done enough. Just change the diapers and do all that stuff.” “
We know you are a superwoman, but it’s okay to let him know you are not always okay…
6. It gets better…
I’m not there yet. I’m still trying to find the balance between parenting, my marriage, stretchmarks and just life in general.
There are days that I want to crawl under my duvet cover, covered in spit-up and never ever get up.
But then there are those days, or rather those moments that Minki holds her little brother and they both smile at me…
(Okay, she’s smiling and he… well it’s close enough). 😉
I look at them and my heart wants to explode.
I made them. I carried them. I gave birth to them. I may not be great at this postpartum thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the best damn Mom they could have ever asked for.
And on days when you (and I) feel like a complete failure, just remember that it’s okay and that you are not alone.
Slowly the haze will lift and you will wake up one day and realise you love motherhood.
(At least that’s what happened to me).
XOXO
Helene & Minki & Joshua
(For the first time)!
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Gosh I needed this !!!Im suffering from HG so badly just like I did in my previous 3 pregnancies .I want it over already and it’s only been 8 weeks !!!Im done with ginger and Zofer and Zofran and I have no idea how I’m going to be sane and be a parent to my other kids for the next 7 months .Thank you for putting this into perspective for me ❤️❤️Your babies are so gorgeous btw .
HI Nashieta! I’m so sorry to hear that you are suffering from HG. Like I said in my DM to you… nothing really helps and it’s horrible to go through. But you will get through! Good luck you can do this!
Ps: Thank you, I think they are gorgeous too! Xxx
Oh WOW…I trust you my Queen, you’re a great SUPER Mommy…just hang in there…in no yome Joshua will be running around and you’ll be back on your stylish clothing.
All the best my lovely Queen.🌸🎀🌼
Aaaw thanks Queen Zee! You are so sweet! I’m feeling a lot better already! I just need to shed some weight so I can start enjoying my clothes again! 🙂 But all in good time! Xxx
You go mamma. Good luck, hope to brave baby nr 2 one day. Right it just seems scary again haha. Well done they are both beautiful and so are you lovelie.
Aaaw thanks Christine! You are too kind! Some days I wonder what on earth were we thinking – absolute chaos with 2 babies but in between the chaos there’s beautiful moments and that makes everything worthwhile. Have a lovely day! Thanks for reading our blog and taking the time to comment! Xxx
amazing read❤
Geluk liewe Helene. Hy is pragtig! Ek is mal daaroor hoe jy met soveel eerlikheid skryf. Jy draai geen doekies om nie (ek onthou alles wat jy skryf soos gister met Esmé)
Baie sterkte, soos jy sê dit raak beter soos die tyd verby gaan.
Xxx
Aaa dankie Christine! Baie dankie vir die kompliment! Ek is so bly jy geniet dit! Ek is nogals soms te eerlik en bly jy lees en waardeer dit vir wat dit is! Ek is nou ‘n maand in en moet se, dit raak definitief elke dag ‘n bietjie beter! 😉
You’re family is beautiful! I love the pink your little ones are matching in. Thinking about having a second baby terrifies me but reading this made me feel not so alone 🙂
Thank you Errol! Poor Joshua is inheriting a lot of pink stuff from his older sister! 🙂
But now I’m 1 month in and I’m already feeling better! So don’t be terrified! It’s scary at the beginning but it really does get better! 🙂
Yep its tough, hope its getting better and your finding your grove again 🙂
Hi Steph! Eish it’s so tough! But I’m getting the hang of it… Taking it day by day! 🙂